bitch
(yes, someone got promoted from asshole)

in order to congratulate him, yes, HIM, on his promotion,
i'd like to propose a toast.

dear bitch,
go rite on ahead and tell me what to buy or what not to buy at the market,
but you know if you're not happy,
you always have a choice to pick that cute butt of yours up,
and go and get what you want.

meanwhile, enjoy your late saturday waking hours,
while i go faithfully every saturday (yessss, that is part of the weekend) to that stinky inky winky ol' market,
struggle home with the groceries which weigh a tonne,
and stock up the house fridge,
when what i'd really like to do is also, sleep in.

you know,
its so totally my fault that one saturday,
i make myself wake up to go to the market,
feeling like its becoming quite chore to wake up on saturdays,
when everyonelse (including you) in the house is sleeping.
and all i want to do,
is to get the things we need and get out of there, FAST
yeah, i should really have made myself stay there to smell in the fresh smells of freshly cut meat and rotting fish scales,
totally bad of me to be so lazy,
really.. bad bad me to have wanted to cut it short for just one saturday

if i don't know what to buy,
and i decide to buy the first thing i see,
because as most people would know,
mince meat is a very flexible thing to cook,
you can do TONS of things with it,
I'm sorry you don't like having to eat the same thing the whole week...
even tho there's a whole chicken sitting right beside the nice mince meat.

oh yes, in case you forgot,
there's also lots of ikan bilis in the bottom shelf,
there's eggs in the top shelf
but well.. i guess that's not meat huh...
nah uh.. just alternative soures of protein

i guess the only bad thing i might be able to say about you is that,
sorry that your cooking skills and imagination are so limited,
you can only make basically, two meat dishes,
one steamed with garlic,
the other with black pepper and honey and dark soy sauce

but then again, you know, i should have remembered,
you like to cook the same dish, but with different meats..
yess.... lots of difference that, same damn dish different meats...
hmm.... amazing difference...
stuff that could make your bowels fall out

so go rite on bitch,
tell me to buy different types of meats in the market..
but when you do come with me to the market, (which was only once EVER)
you can always choose to answer my questions on what you want with, "don't care la, whatever" (as you always do)
yup, go rite on.

to the bitch
a toast.

*everyone together*
bitch