of all the stupid...

if you come home from the gym
all sweaty and smelly
and you see your housemates happily watching tv
do you
a) go change your clothes first then join them
b) go plant your but right in front of the window where the air is coming through

so say you choose b
and your housemates tell you about your lil mistake
(that housemate not being me but another nice housemate)
'hey dude, you stink man!'
do you
a) nicely remove yourself and go change or sit elsewhere where it does not offend others
b) put superglue on your ass in front of the window where the air is coming through

so say you choose b.. again
and your housemates tell you.. again about your lil mistake
'fucker, you stink like shit la.. why don't you go change or shower or sit over there so we can breathe'
do you
a) listen to your housmate and change or shower or sit over there so everyone can breathe
b) dig yourself a hole where you are right now superglue the hole into the floor and superglue your ass in front of the window where the air is coming through

so say you choose b.. Again!?
and because you are a retarded dickwit,
your housemates shake their heads and go.. fucker #$%^&# and let you be
and a housemate sees that you have plonked your sweaty stinky ass on her nice women's weekly tote bag
she says to you "please don't sit on my bag"
do you
a) listen to her and move that 5 inches forwards so you are no longer sitting on her bag
b) Say "i'm not sitting on your bag"

so say, being a retarded dickwit,
you choose b
your housemate looks again and confirms..
yes... ass.. on nice bag
and ass... no.. not a nice ass!
and says "get off my bag!"
do you
a) listen to her and move 5 inches forward
b) Say, "i'm not sitting on your bag!"

see if you get to here.. and you've chosen b all the way...
you must be a retarded dickwit.. confirmed!
and thick to boot!

and as if there were not enough stupidity in this world
check this out

and there i was, thinking..
aren't all nice policemen supposed to try to get to the scene ASAP
and isn't the world standard something like less than five minutes
seeing as..
if you were bleeding to death,
you'd be dead in 5 minutes

so if you know you're gonna be bleeding like nobody's business..
you better call ten minutes early..
just in case it takes 15 minutes for the police to get there!

*the girls fumes about her bag*