Wednesday, April 02, 2003

In memoriam... to Minal Kamdar

Minal was one of our school chums.. we went to college together as well,
although I can rightly say we were good friends in school and later in college,
I also have to admit, guiltily, we also parted ways on a bad note.
she wasn't particularly outstanding in school,
was good in her studies, good at sports and got around fairly well,
basically, ur average school girl.

later in college she showed she had big ambitions, and displayed the focus to get there.
she was single mindedly going for all A's in her studies in college, and she got them.
Unfortunately, she also was single mindedly determined to be thin and pretty,
she wasn't fat, or plump, or even what you may call chubby, it's just that she had a larger bone structure than most asian girls.
she wasn't ugly, she was looked fine.
then she became anorexic and well.. looked anorexic

unfortunately, thru her fight with anorexia, she also did some things that are not that nice,
unfortunately for all involved, we started out trying to help her overcome anorexia,
but somewhere along the lines, the things that she was doing drove everyone away.
we failed to see that the things that she was doing was because of her illness,
not because it is inherent in her.
that i will forever regret.

now that she's gone,
well.. let's say alot of us are feeling for the first time,
the cliche thing about regretting not making peace with someone before its too late..
its too late now,
nothing we can do about it... but look back, think with regret of the less than perfect way that we parted ways.

Minal acheived her aim in college,
following that she achieved her larger aim,
going to the London School of Economics to read Actuarial science

alot of us lost touch with her when she went to london,
but from all accounts,
she thrived there, managing finally to overcome anorexia,
starting a club in LSE,
presided over the club well,
made many new friends,
Graduated with first class honors.

she then started to prepare for her dream job,
a position with Price Waterhouse Coopers, London.
Needless to say, with the drive she displayed, she got the job.

a week ago she got a bicycle to go to work, so that she could avoid the infamous london traffic jams,
on the 28th of March, in the morning on her way to work,
she was hit by a lorry,
she died instantaneously.
She was 22, about to celebrate her 23rd birthday in to weeks time.

with all these acheivements under her belt,
many people may remember her for different things,
the most striking memory i have of her was the day she was absolutely,
once and for all, in a rarefied atmosphere,
at peace with who she was, her looks and where she was.
it was prom night for us in high school.

she had pondered and fretted for weeks over what she was going to wear,
finally she decided on a white dress, one that she wore to her brother's wedding just a short while before.
it was based on indian traditional dresses, but had a western slant to it.
she had a white gauze shawl draped across her shoulders,
her date stood next to her, she had a bouquet of roses in her arms from him complete with corsage.
she stood at the entrance under a huge arch of balloons, waiting for us to arrive.
I told her she looked like she was going to get married.
everyone complimented her that night, she was looked too good to not to be complimented

she went home happy that night, pleased as pleased could be.
And that is how i want to remember her,
at peace with her world and herself and delighted and happy with everything.

if i could I would like to dedicate the song 'When the world was mine' by ronan keating, to Minal Kamdar,
for a life fully lived and lived well
My condolences to her family.

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