when i was younger,
i remembered watching a short video clip

in the video clip, there was a small hand (a child's)
the hand reaches out and upwards for support
a larger hand (an adult's) appears and holds the child's hand

but it turns out only to be an illusion
the hand like a holographic ghost,
dissapears
and the child's and is left reaching out
reaching for something that is not there

the video clip was about child abuse
some famous artists had bunched up to sing a song about it
and to try to prevent it and stuff like that
the song was about betrayal of a child's love
betrayal of a child's trust
and how such horrors should never happen

the video of course,
ended with a real hand coming to hold the child's hand

that video made me cry
not because it was particularly touching...
the video, in the tradition of the 'shock value' early nineties
just piled in loads of gory pics of children who had been badly tortured

the video made me cry
because finally, i knew someone was out there fighting for us
but it was too late for me
because by the time the message really got through
it would be at least a decade later
as education on such matters tend to go

no hand would ever materialise for me
and then i knew i had to stop hoping for the hand to come

since then it has been a long tiring march
a step at a time.
life is no fun as the walking dead
but at least when you are numb you won't feel pain

say goodbye to chi now
you will never see her again
i will not let her stick her heart out to be stomped on once again

to all those thinking
how morbid all of this is
it is not morbid at all
you have never been me
you do not know what morbid means
i wish for you that you never do

for those of you who know
i wished that you never had to
but since we did
i guess all we can do is to put it to good use
and make sure no one else ever has to know

chi is safe within me
and at least she lives

the fight continues
thanks to people like
Madeleine Yong
Paul Jambunathan
and the countless others behind the scenes

one day i will be done with all my obligations
and i will join you

perps out there
you better be afraid
very afraid

that day is coming real soon