food specialist.. for real
 
so..
we all know..
we have a 'food specialist' in this house
 
he da man..
he da MAIN man!
da man that marinates his lamb chops in mayo and mint jam
 
and later..
after the near burning down of the house
(due to the mayo catching fire during pan frying)
he can claim..
the lamb tasted ok wat..
 
i see..
as you all do...
i'm sure..
he is always rite..
*ahem*..
the pride issue ppl
the pride issue..
he is very proud and egomaniacal.
but that is a side issue here
so back to the lamb
 
so the lamb..
the last time i wrote about it
my stomach was churning too much for me to tell the story properly
 
so the story..
 
he marinated the lamb in mayo and mint
and it happened to be our new semi-house mate (who is serious case nice) who's turn it was to cook
and so he looked at the lamb
scratched his head..
and asked me.. what the..
i scratch my head back and asked him
whatever the la..
 
so we figured..
k..
we pan fry this mama here and see how it goes
 
first piece goes in
all is sizzlingly dandy
 
i return to my job of watching charmed
nice semi-housemate turns around to wash his hands
suddenly...
there is a bright orange reflection on my tv
and dah is going..
fire fire fire... woi.. fire leh..
 
we all turn to look
the damn lamb is up in flames
and the flames are reaching my ceiling
the smoke alarm goes off
and all is pandemonium for a while
after the fire and pandemonium dies down
we return the lamb to the stove and continue cooking
with 3 pairs of eyes watching it very closely now..
 
the bitch returns home
and says to us..
didn't you know..
you were supposed to roast it!
 
i see...
and we were all supposed to die from the exploding oven i suppose
its a veritable murder weapon and plan i tell you..
can you imagine the CSI team trying to figure that one out?!
 
any case we all gave him one for that stupid remark
 
and yesterday..
semi-housemate was saying he figures the mayo in the lamb caught fire from the heat
cos of the high egg content..
and i was telling him it might not be the egg
but the naturally volatile nature of the mayo in certain conditions..
 
and the stupid bitch butts in and says..
but the lamb was tasty what..
maybe we should try that again..
 
semi- housemate and me looked at him and said
You can try that again
By yourself
In ANOTHER HOUSE
 
and you know what the bitch said?
what?!
the lamb was damn tender what..
the mint not bad..
make the lamb tender
 
*eye fall out of sockets*
 
i tell him..
no.. mint does not tenderise meat
 
he insists it does
fine fine...
he's the food specialist after all..
 
i mean..
the lamb was tender cos of the mint
*choke choke*
not cos of the pan fry techniques of semi-housemate
who used to work as a chef
OF COURSE IT WAS THE MINT
 
did you not read the pride thing up there?
 
of course i am wrong about the mint not being a tenderiser
i mean..
no where in my food books in the list of tenserisers do they mention mint
it says..
ginger..
lemon..
lime..
salt (under special cases)
vinegar..
manual pounding..
anything else with high acidic content
nope.. no mint
 
but i guess
the bitch..
he's a natural..
he's good
he's the best
DA MAIN MAN
better than all the food prep books i read
better than all the food safety guides i look thru
better than all those cordon bleu chefs
and the books they read
and the books they write
*choke choke*
 
so everyone..
you know what to do..
start tenderising your meats with mint
*snicker snicker*
 
by the way..
the bitch..
he believes that poker players play with chips
and the chips are not money
see.. chips wat..
that's not money
 
*fainted from choking*