the brit in me

i remember me n a brit guy yakking
he was working in good ol' KL
and he was stuggling with some aspects of asian culture
he's a nice guy (dun get me wrong)
but at work
someone (asian) became unhappy with something he did

but of course
the asian way..
never tell the culprit directly
tell his neighbour
tell his friends
tell the whole world
but never tell him

so anyway..
the chinese whispers came back to him
as is supposed to
and he wanted to right the wrong
but he could not
because to right the wrong
he has to talk to the person who started the whispers

and that would tell her that
the person she 'trusted' was telling tales
and also in a way, embarrass her
cos she has been telling tales!
its complicated.. but i hope u follow

anyhoo..
so the poor fella..
stuck in a confounding situation
unable to right his wrong
and he just said to me
"i wish she would have just come straight to me
cos i would've appreciated it and then i can do something about it
now my hands are tied, what can i do?
we british are taught to face ppl directly when we have a problem,
is that not easier?"

in the same way
i must admit i feel the same way
after having been in a system that works that way half my life
i find its so much more efficient and better for emotional health
and social health
to be able to bash things out in the open
then we can fix the problem
and generally with no hard feelings

but then again,
after school hours are spent in the asian system
so then again i can understand how that works..
in its round about way,
there are some advantages..
no hurt feelings, avoidance of confrontation
but oftentimes leaves one unable to do much about the thing that went wrong in the first place

it must just be the brit in me
directness is the best way
do you not think so?

of course,
i also appreciate the asian in me..
it lets me enjoy the best of both worlds ;)